February 10, 2011
30 weeks - The Daddy Chronicles Part I
The Daddy Chronicles
A letter to my unborn child:
Any hip hop fan will note the reference in this blog posts title to a song by the same name by Tupac Shakur. It may seem odd to reference a Tupac song in this instance but, as chance would have it, the song recently turned up on my MP3 player while I was working out. The song lyrics got me thinking about the my baby's coming birth. What do I want to tell my daughter now If am not able in the future? What are some things I want her to understand about the time of her birth and her fathers thoughts on the matter? It is in that vein that I write this letter.
To My first child Sophia Kiko Duncan
On the day of your birth, I plan God wiling, to be in the front row holding your mothers hand welcoming you into the world. What my initial reaction will be, I do not yet know. What will go through my mind as I first lay eyes on you I cannot yet conceive. Yet, as I sit in this rocking chair penning this letter, I can think of three things that I would like you to understand.
First, as your father, I must say now on the day of your birth that I make no excuses for the many failures I will commit. I will not be the father I should be because I am not the husband nor man I should be. For this you have my sincerest apologies. Your daddy is a sinful man and deserves more criticism than he receives in regards to how he lives, what he does and what he does not do. I see perfection and know all too well my own short comings. It is my duty to to be perfect and as God as my witness I will look to be be the perfect father, husband and man I should be. Yet, as you read this, you know I will never have been able to meet this standard. Nonetheless, from the day of your birth, it is your job to hold me accountable as your father, to show me how to love, serve and honor you in the ways I should.
Secondly I do not want, for one second of your precious life, for you to believe that I have ever worried about you. There is no fear in this man in regards to you. Doubt, concern, trepidation all vanish from this man when you enter his mind. You were conceived in love and given as a part of this family at the perfect time and in the perfect way. The timing and plan of our Almighty Father continues to awe me. The grace I have received and the love you conjure completely outshine any darkness that otherwise haunts me. Although, I should be concerned with the many things that will come with being your father, I am not. I have no fear for you or about you. You are a gift entrusted to your mother and I for a time. As I think about you how could I have any feeling but love, confidence and hope.
What I do need to express before this letter comes to completion is utter joy in the present and tremendous anticipation for your arrival. I have nothing but hope for you. Sophia, your mother and myself as a family are a family. Only thoughts of appreciation and gratefulness enter my prayers of thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father. Christ is the leader, head and base of this family. Because of that I can wait expectantly on you birth and life. In all, your mother and I, feel ever expanding fulfillment as you enter our lives. You Sophia Kiko Duncan are loved more than you know. Your father and mother eagerly look ahead and imagine who you are and what you will become.
Every year on your birthday you will receive a letter. I pray that they will remind you of the love we share, and the hope. Let these letters spur you forward for a life of glory. A life in which you glorify Him and are glorified in Him.
Andrew William Duncan