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December 3, 2010

20 weeks - best & worst things about being pregnant

20 weeks! I'm a bit late on this week's post, but I'm happy that I'm at the half way point of my pregnancy. It went so quick, and I feel as though the second half will go quicker. I can't believe I will be holding a baby in less than 5 months!

This week I received a package from my father-in-law in the States, a package full of baby goods:) Blankets, clothes, "I love grandpa" bib..etc. It was so sweet! I can't wait to decorate the nursery with them. I felt bad though, because the shipping fee was very expensive ($50!).

I've been feeling the baby's kicks every day this week. This has been the best part of my pregnancy so far! I love feeling the baby move. When I first started feeling the move, it felt as though I was keeping a small gold fish in my belly. Now that the baby got bigger, if feels more like I have an eel in my belly..I know, it's not a lovely image, but I feel that way!

Before I started to feel the move, I often worried whether I was really pregnant. I had no morning sickness, and things really didn't change much for the first couple of months in my pregnancy, so I sometimes forgot that I was pregnant. I like that the baby reminds me that I'm pregnant now by his kicks!

I don't want to be completely negative here, but I will be honest, the worst part of my pregnancy is the changing body image. I didn't expect to receive so many comments from people about how I look once I got pregnant, and I wasn't ready for it. Just so you know, I'm not talking about comments left on my blog, rather, comments from people in real life. I don't mind people telling me my belly has grown. But I've also received some comments about my thighs and butts getting bigger, I'm too big for 5 months, or too small for 5 months. And I try not to worry or care about it much, but it's hard not too. I just wonder why people can't keep their comments to themselves...

Not only some people around me, but also some nurses at the hospital I go to like to bust my balls. I love and hate going to the hospital at the same time. I love because I get to see the baby with ultrasound, but I hate it because nurse comes around to check and comment on how I'm doing with weight gain. According to her, I'm only allowed to gain 8kg through out the pregnancy, because if I gain more than 8kg, the baby will hard time coming out because of the fat or something. And last time, she nagged me for gaining too much already. Well, I gained 2 kg at 4 months point, which I didn't think it was terrible. But the weight they measured at the hospital weighted 1-2 kg heavier because of clothes and I just had a lunch. I tried to explain that to her, but she told me to measure my weight correctly (I guess with clothes on?!) and I should not gain any more until the next visit. I felt very sad, because regardless of what I actually weighted, she made me feel big, fat and ugly... I also felt terrible because I felt as though I'm more concerned about myself than the baby's well-being.

I know everyone experiences different pregnancy, and my experience is vastly different from my friend's, who had a baby 6 months ago. Also, I wanted to make sure to write that this might be uniquely Japanese experience, and I think I would have experienced the pregnancy in much different way if I were still in the U.S.
It seems to me that the weight gain is stricter here, and I've read in some website that pregnant women going on a severe diet because the doctors tell them not to gain much weight.

Anyway, if you are pregnant now or if you had experienced pregnancy in the past, what is/was the best/worst part?


verypurpleperson said...

I can't believe they're doing that to you! I think as long as you're healthy, the weight factor shouldn't be a problem if it's not too much. Every person is different, isn't it?

Pregnant women seem to attract unwanted advices, I got lots of them when I was pregnant, fortunately not from my doctor. People had been telling me that I didn't gain enough weight, I should eat more, I was too small etc. The worst was the superstitious-related advices (maybe it's Indonesian thing), things I shouldn't eat or do or said or hear -_-

I had a lot of health problems at the beginning, throwing up all day, teeth problem, and had to have full bed rest for sometime, but it was also one of the happiest moment in my life. Somehow I felt so beautiful at that time. I don't know why!

I think you look very beautiful, Chie! Sending you happy thoughts and best wishes from here!

::HARUNA:: said...

awe chie... hope you are not taking things too seriously.
I found that it makes you extra emotional when you are pregnant. I had that issue especially when watching movies. didn't get so much annoying comments from people, but EVERYONE told me I was the biggest pregnant lady they had ever seen! that didn't bug me at all, and I WAS really BIG! I didn't carry my baby inside much and my belly stuck out. maybe because I am short...?
anyhow, I don't think geining weight is much of a problem to worry about! as long as you feel good and baby is healthy!! if the hospital people bug/worry you too much and when it comes down to it, you can change to a different one! maybe get a midwife? usually, they are more down to earth and not so manual oriented.

Belinda said...

I am not sure which country you are in at the moment... but I can't believe the nurse is saying that to you (about your weight). I am in Australia, and my Dr did not even weigh me throughout the pregnancy - not once!
I think sometimes people tend to lose weight in the early months due to morning sickness (well I did), so if you have not suffered morning sickness perhaps you 'seem' to be heavier than the nurses expect at this point in your pregnancy.

Everyone seems to have an opinion though, I found it was best just to ignore/brush off most of the passing comments.

Good luck with your pregnancy, the most important thing is that you feel the best you can.

sophie said...

I am so sorry that there has been such emphasis on weight gain. All women are different and will gain weight in different areas and some will gain more than others. I cannot see how much weight you gain will affect giving birth. I think you look beautiful and healthy. I think this may be a Japanese things because here (in Australia) there was never too much of an issue made about weight in all my 3 pregnancies.

This blog speaks of the same thing:

Felicity said...

Sorry to hear that you're encountering such rude and insensitive people. You look beautiful!

Martina said...

I feel so sorry for the way you are feeling and beeing treated about the weight! 8 kg seems extreamly little to gain through a whole pregnancy - I ganined 10 and compared to my friends that was not much - and the day I came home from hospital (3 days after birth) I weigh exactly the same as I did before I got pregnant - so 10 kg is nothing! Try to ignore the nurses and others coments and only try to feel healthy and comfortable and think about that you are also feeding the baby as long as he/she is inside you!

Loren said...

I've never had a baby, but several of my friend/family have had similar experiences to yours.
I've come to the conclusion the only thing you are allowed to say to an expectant mother is 'You look great'. And you do.
You look fantastic and adorable as always.

Nettie said...

I'm so sorry that you are being made to feel bad!! People can be so insensitive at times and while pregnant (especially the first time) I was SUPER sensitive to everything. It will get better. And as you go on and keep feeling your baby move and have your husband and family treat you special you will not care as much what they say at the docs office. And if you are still feeling sensitive then, that's fine too.

Cindora said...

Please don't think, too much about your weight because your baby wants food and everythink you want is because your baby want it, too. :)

Meekiyu said...

aww you look positively radiate! Lolol the grandpa is smart and so sweet for sending all those goodies. Not a mother so no help on the gaining weight restrictions... it does make sense but the nurses don't need to be so blunt about it. I read somewhere that clothes add on an extra 1 - 5lbs depending on clothes. Anyways I still think you look awesome =P

Another Sewing Scientist said...

I have had two babies, so I know what you're talking about: the unsolicited comments, the superstitions, the pregnancy and birth horrors that people like to share... some people don't know when to stop!

I think that when a woman sees another woman who is pregnant, they feel like they are in a secret club together: now you are going to experience this crazy, terrible, wonderful thing and you have that in common and all the social barriers come down.

As for weight gain, I know people that gained "too little", "exactly the right amount" or "too much" according to their doctors and their babies turned out just fine. You have to remember that doctors are scientists, and scientists are taught to trust numbers rather than look at each patient as an individual! (I know because I am a scientist ;)

I just ate when I was hungry (you will be very very hungry at some stages!) and didn't eat when I didn't feel hungry. I gained some weight, babies were fine, and then I lost it after they finished breastfeeding. Everything works out the way it is supposed to!

Emily said...

So sorry about those negative comments. Sometimes I wish I had a mute button for people. ha.

I think you look gorgeous. Weight gain is so different person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. My friend always gains 60-70 lbs and has normal, healthy babies.

Hopefully you don't run across this- but beware the unsolicited belly touch. Yuck.

Anonymous said...

I was never pregnant and I'm not a doctor, but I always think pregnancy will be like what Another Sewing Scientist said, because it seems to be the most natural thing.
Of course you look pregnant, but in a beautiful way :)

Adrienne said...

You look beautiful pregnant! That would be the first thoughts running through my head. You look exactly as you should! Every woman looks different during pregnancy.

Also, this is a first pregnancy and while you don't want to dwell on the fact that your body is changing, it is also always on your mind:) It is scary not knowing what body you will have after pregnancy!

Let me assure you that although your body will feel different in many aspects it will also be the same. I was so relieved after my first to realize that with a little exercise and diet, I could get back into the clothes I was wearing before pregnancy (it took a couple of months, but it eventually bounce back.)I was also surprised to find that I had so much more respect for my body after having a baby. Like the stretch marks don't matter like you think they will, because it's amazing what the body can do. I hope this helps give you some relief from worries!

Really, though, you look amazing!

hana said...

Unfortunately there isn't a filter to catch all those inconsiderate comments that come along with all the attention you get when you're pregnant. I got a lot of comments too when I went back to visit my family and old church and some people just don't think before they speak.
I wouldn't worry too much about weight gain; as long as you're eating sensibly and healthy & doing some exercise, it really is not an issue. It's too bad you have to hear it often from the nurses at the hospital but it's your body and you know what's best for it. If you were underweight before, you'll probably gain a little more than average people (like I am right now!). Our bodies are just preparing to nourish a baby in a couple of months and we need to gain that weight!

I've had a really easy pregnancy too so far--no morning sickness, very mild nausea, no weird cravings, etc. I love feeling my baby move, it's amazing how much stronger the movements get and how you can feel it more throughout the day as time goes by. :) It's my favorite part of being pregnant.

Ai said...

i don't think you look too big with your pregnancy, in fact you look more pretty. they say motherhood completes a woman and it surely shows in your aura. Do not mind the comments of the people around you but take it as a challenge. Just remind yourself that that is the beauty of motherhood.
when i was pregnant, it is never an issue for me about gaining weight when someone told me that i gained too much i usually reply them back that I am happy with my pregnancy. The worst part of my pregnancy is my anemia and UTI. but all over i love being pregnant.

nette said...

Well, I have not experienced pregnancy, yet, but in Germany they say that about 10kg is quite ok! You do not look like having gained too much for the 5th month, in my opinion. And I hope you won't take those nurse's words to your heart because I think pregnancy should be one of the most wonderful and exciting time in life. You look totally beautiful to me (as in my view, do all pregnant women).

I think that this might be a typical Japanese experience. I remember how much everybody was into dieting when I stayed there for a few months. And I think it is a sad thing, that even the nurses, with their comments, do not encourage Japanese women to get pregnant. Maybe this might be one of the several reasons, why the birthrate in Japan is so low.

Hope these words might cheer you up a little.

Sewtellme said...

I think you look very beautiful. I agree one of the best parts is feeling your baby move. I also love knowing that I am able to do something so miraculous and important as growing and bring a child into the world. The very best part is actually seeing and holding your baby in your arms. For me the worst part during the pregnancy was the constant "all-day" sickness and trouble sleeping near the end but knowing that I was going to get a beautiful baby in the end made it bearable. Now, two weeks after my baby was born, the worst part is knowing that because our family is now complete, I won't get to experience the beauty of pregnancy again so I say to you my dear enjoy every single minute of it and don't let negative people take any of that away from you.

BeckyDazzler said...

You look beautiful VV!! Very radiant! Love the black and grey dress also, gorg! x

Anonymous said...

Chie, I've had insensitive remarks thrown at me during and post pregnancy. Don't get bothered by it. Of coz you will look fuller during pregnancy , that's how it is! I think you look radiant and absolutely gorgeous. ! I put on 12 kg but have lost most of it, 2-3 more kg to go!!( my bb is 8 mths old), if you are eating healthily, it should be fine.

Jen Jen said...

Hey Darling
I've been following your blog for a while now and I love the progress that you have achieved so far.

Please do not listen to those who say your fat or you've gain too much weight - this is a beautiful moment in your life - a mircle - you and your husband have made a mircle happen.

You are allowed to gain weight - your feeding 2 people! Plus babies are cute with rolls :)

Anonymous said...

You of all people don't need to worry about the weight gain! You're so slim to begin with, and you look gorgeous. It's funny, in the US women are expected to get "fat" when they're pregnant, and the expected to work out after the birth to get back to a normal weight.